The Blessings That Be.

When you read my blogs, please know that I am no better and speak of myself as well.

The thorn.. The wretched man. The detestable sins. How disgusted I am when I look through the Biblical mirror at my life. When I search out who I am through God’s eyes, I am not well pleased by a servant who is good and faithful. Instead, I am filled with heartfelt tears as I view this life I live. I am full of sin. I am not righteous in even the least bit. I am an adulterer to God, constantly “cheating” on Him with this world. And I don’t sneak around about it either. I do it right in front of His face. Seeking to gain riches that He has told me not to gain because He will send angels of destruction (moth and rust and thieves) to take these possessions. Continuously depriving my body (His temple) of the sleep and nutrients that it was created to have in good health. Lazily I cheat on Him with a television that has taken my time away from being of good service to Him. I have idly stood by while a world in need of salvation withers in self rot. I find myself a hypocrite as I give Biblical advice to so many that I do not strive each day to follow. I fail constantly, a result of my attempts of self effort for selfish ambitions instead of relying on God. All the while finding pride in every crevice of achievement undeserved, as if I am the one who has provide my transportation, food, home, job, and all the many characteristics in my family that cause them to excel at home, work, school and abroad. Yes, even in my children’s success do I find my own sin as I tell other parents about them only to have others look upon me in amazement and say, “How ever did you raise them so well?” Seeking compliments in my pride.

What price have I paid so highly as to call myself Christian? Was it I that was born of a virgin, sent to earth to live and die that the world might be covered in a robe of my blood’s righteousness? Was I the one that decided the number of hairs on my head or the number of sand granules to fill the beaches and the oceans and the deserts with? Did I take the sperm and the egg into my hands and form them as one and breathe life that I may be birthed 31 years ago?! What great deed was my donation to creation, that I should stand today and take pride in my accomplishments for God? Have I impressed God?!! Does He sit on His throne and say to himself, “Wow!! Joseph is so amazing. I’m beside myself just considering the wonder of his ways.”? NO!! I am not in the place of God to have such abilities, nor am I deserving of praise or any glory or any blessing. For, I am a man. I was birthed into sin and by grace birthed again into adoption. It is faith that brought me to salvation in a moment’s time, and it is a life time that is spent in becoming a new creation. If I, in satisfaction, tell God that I am well pleased with who I am, then I have confessed that I am blind or a liar. And if I tell you brother and sister that I have achieved personal gain, than I have asked you to rebuke me, for Satan has surely taken hold of my mind. I am a wretched man. I am not the master of my house, but a bond servant being ever honed and trained to remove my failures and by grace have them replaced by the fruits of the Most High. Glory to God. I am a man of not only many imperfections but also of direct contradiction to that example given for me that I might walk in the light. I am a low and incapable being of much indecisiveness and am surely an embarrassment to the angels that are assigned to my protection. I must have caused them a great deal of scars from what I have put them through. Yet, strangely enough, it is these imperfections of mine that allow for His perfection to work in me. It is my weakness that is His path to lift my spirit up. It is the lowly and unworthy whom He will call onto the battlefield and qualify as soldiers. It is the undeserving that are able to receive His blessing in humility and understand its value.

Time and time again, I come to the cross and fall on my face as my heart burst from me in confession that I am the one that holds the hammer and nails to the cross. I am the reason He bled. Time and time again, I stand with torn garments and the dust falls from my back as I turn to face a road where I know it is inevitable that I will falter in my steps. Yet, I sing the songs of praise and worship from my heart, for I believe the meaning in the words is true and I know that my God will hear me. I cry out in sorrow for the lost in the world and I know He will hear my cry. I dance in the joy that new rain brings and know He washes me clean. The sun rises and His Holy Spirit hones and refines me. I walk through a valley, a result of my sin and I feel Satan’s breath on my heals. I hear Satan’s demons calling out from the dark for me to follow them off the path and into deep lagoons. And of a strength not my own, I arise at the other side where light once again breaks forth a new day. When I return to my knees to again approach the King, I know His Holy Spirit is with me. I know these things because even though I am so very unworthy to even as much as speak His name, He has adopted me as His own. He has told me that though I may walk in this world and though I may make mistakes, He doesn't call me of the world, but rather He calls me of His children. This, I am most overjoyed to share with the world along with the invite to them also to dine at His table. This is the blessings that be; that while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me; that while I am so undeserving, He still blesses me; that while I fail constantly, He lifts me up and carries me; that though I held the hammer, He loves me as His child; that though I am unqualified and unworthy, He has called me qualified in Him and presents me worthy before the Father. Blessed Be… Myself replaced by Him. Have you recognized it today?