The Blessings That Be.

When you read my blogs, please know that I am no better and speak of myself as well.

The thorn.. The wretched man. The detestable sins. How disgusted I am when I look through the Biblical mirror at my life. When I search out who I am through God’s eyes, I am not well pleased by a servant who is good and faithful. Instead, I am filled with heartfelt tears as I view this life I live. I am full of sin. I am not righteous in even the least bit. I am an adulterer to God, constantly “cheating” on Him with this world. And I don’t sneak around about it either. I do it right in front of His face. Seeking to gain riches that He has told me not to gain because He will send angels of destruction (moth and rust and thieves) to take these possessions. Continuously depriving my body (His temple) of the sleep and nutrients that it was created to have in good health. Lazily I cheat on Him with a television that has taken my time away from being of good service to Him. I have idly stood by while a world in need of salvation withers in self rot. I find myself a hypocrite as I give Biblical advice to so many that I do not strive each day to follow. I fail constantly, a result of my attempts of self effort for selfish ambitions instead of relying on God. All the while finding pride in every crevice of achievement undeserved, as if I am the one who has provide my transportation, food, home, job, and all the many characteristics in my family that cause them to excel at home, work, school and abroad. Yes, even in my children’s success do I find my own sin as I tell other parents about them only to have others look upon me in amazement and say, “How ever did you raise them so well?” Seeking compliments in my pride.

What price have I paid so highly as to call myself Christian? Was it I that was born of a virgin, sent to earth to live and die that the world might be covered in a robe of my blood’s righteousness? Was I the one that decided the number of hairs on my head or the number of sand granules to fill the beaches and the oceans and the deserts with? Did I take the sperm and the egg into my hands and form them as one and breathe life that I may be birthed 31 years ago?! What great deed was my donation to creation, that I should stand today and take pride in my accomplishments for God? Have I impressed God?!! Does He sit on His throne and say to himself, “Wow!! Joseph is so amazing. I’m beside myself just considering the wonder of his ways.”? NO!! I am not in the place of God to have such abilities, nor am I deserving of praise or any glory or any blessing. For, I am a man. I was birthed into sin and by grace birthed again into adoption. It is faith that brought me to salvation in a moment’s time, and it is a life time that is spent in becoming a new creation. If I, in satisfaction, tell God that I am well pleased with who I am, then I have confessed that I am blind or a liar. And if I tell you brother and sister that I have achieved personal gain, than I have asked you to rebuke me, for Satan has surely taken hold of my mind. I am a wretched man. I am not the master of my house, but a bond servant being ever honed and trained to remove my failures and by grace have them replaced by the fruits of the Most High. Glory to God. I am a man of not only many imperfections but also of direct contradiction to that example given for me that I might walk in the light. I am a low and incapable being of much indecisiveness and am surely an embarrassment to the angels that are assigned to my protection. I must have caused them a great deal of scars from what I have put them through. Yet, strangely enough, it is these imperfections of mine that allow for His perfection to work in me. It is my weakness that is His path to lift my spirit up. It is the lowly and unworthy whom He will call onto the battlefield and qualify as soldiers. It is the undeserving that are able to receive His blessing in humility and understand its value.

Time and time again, I come to the cross and fall on my face as my heart burst from me in confession that I am the one that holds the hammer and nails to the cross. I am the reason He bled. Time and time again, I stand with torn garments and the dust falls from my back as I turn to face a road where I know it is inevitable that I will falter in my steps. Yet, I sing the songs of praise and worship from my heart, for I believe the meaning in the words is true and I know that my God will hear me. I cry out in sorrow for the lost in the world and I know He will hear my cry. I dance in the joy that new rain brings and know He washes me clean. The sun rises and His Holy Spirit hones and refines me. I walk through a valley, a result of my sin and I feel Satan’s breath on my heals. I hear Satan’s demons calling out from the dark for me to follow them off the path and into deep lagoons. And of a strength not my own, I arise at the other side where light once again breaks forth a new day. When I return to my knees to again approach the King, I know His Holy Spirit is with me. I know these things because even though I am so very unworthy to even as much as speak His name, He has adopted me as His own. He has told me that though I may walk in this world and though I may make mistakes, He doesn't call me of the world, but rather He calls me of His children. This, I am most overjoyed to share with the world along with the invite to them also to dine at His table. This is the blessings that be; that while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me; that while I am so undeserving, He still blesses me; that while I fail constantly, He lifts me up and carries me; that though I held the hammer, He loves me as His child; that though I am unqualified and unworthy, He has called me qualified in Him and presents me worthy before the Father. Blessed Be… Myself replaced by Him. Have you recognized it today?

He Created Us Anyway

He created us anyway

When you read my blogs, please know that I am no better and speak of myself as well.

How incredible it is to live of a light we are undeserving of. I think of how our God sees us in this world of sin and loves us regardless. I think of how He called each of us according to His will. I ponder on what little view I have of the great plan which He has. To have created this being, the homosapien, standing erect to be a reflection of the creator in all that it does; God knowing full well that we would fall into a mire of sin and that we would turn away from Him in disobedience, still chose to create us. For what purpose? As a Christian, I know my purpose is to reflect Him to this world and to grow in closeness to Him. I know that I am to show love and to be fruitful and to make deciples of all nations and yet I still ponder the larger question. If this is my purpose, then it is to say that there will be those that fail in connecting to God (even though He has laid a bridge for the gap that sin caused) and they will spend an eternity in the hell fire. Other wise, I would have no calling to reach them. But, God knew this before creation. He knew that his created would fail and be torn away from their relationship with Him. He knew that because of His own just and perfect nature, the sin in us would cause seperation and eternal damnation. He knew that there would be those that after realizing this fact, would still turn away from Him and run to the opposer. He knew that His creation would accept Satan, reject God, and cause their own eternal demise. And yet, He created the creation anyway. Without placing any correction on this seeming design flaw that He knew we would have. Why? Why give life by a spirit, and the free will to choose from good and bad if He knew that so many would choose a path that led to destruction? The question has perplexed me since childhood. I’ve asked those in the authority of many churches under God and have received many answers, ranging from, “for His glory”, to, “how can you question the perfect plan of God?”. These are not answers though. They are way around answering what one may choose not to admit they don’t know the answer to. I have pondered long enough and searched scripture long enough to come to many of my own non-conclusive answers. Theories. That’s all they are. It is not detrimental to my choice to serve the almighty King, that I receive one single, final conclusion that brings understanding on this. That, I believe is my conclusion. I have known the Lord for some time and have come to know a portion of His personality. I love, fear, and trust in Him. I can say this not only because the Bible tells me I can trust Him, but because He has revieled it to me in life’s experiences. He has shown that He can be trusted in. And, by that very nature will I know that He has purpose in the creation of the human race that is beyond my understanding or knowledge. Knowing that it is not detrimental to my walking with the Lord, I have to choose faith. I have to understand that there will be things that I don’t understand. You see, because I am a human, I often have the desire to be in control of not only myself, but also everything around me. I have a curiosity which can be a positive thing but often drags me into researching what I need not know. Things that can drag me down if I let them and can cause me to involve myself in meaningless argument. These things, I must let go. I must lay them at the foot of the cross and say to my Lord, “I need only you. I do not need to be in control of your plan. I need only follow the guidelines you have given me in this plan as to fulfill your purpose for me in your timing. I trust in you. Fully.”